I recently moved from the quiet subarbs where catcalls and other forms of sexual harrassment occurred maybe once every 2-3 years to the big city of San Francisco where it happens 2 out of 3 times I leave the house.
First, Iwould like to thank you for the article in the SF Chronicle today. It made me feel better about the whole situation to know that there are a group of women, also victims of this, that band together to help support each other. Coming from a small city where I was unaccusomted to this unwanted attention, I was quickly overwhelmed and very depressed after moving. I felt dirty, helpless, scared, and as if I had lost my independence. I would not be able to leave my house without being harassed in some way or another by men unless I was in the company of a man. I was angry and upset that in this day and age a grown woman like myself would not be able to go out alone or with girlfriends and not be given unwanted attention. I quickly became depressed and refused to leave the house unless absolutely necessary. I have since grown more accustomed to city-life and the article today in the paper gave me comfort to know that I was not alone and that we can stand up for ourselves in some way through this website. Here are my harassement stories. 4 times in one day is ridiculous!
I was on the bus seated near the front for safety when an elderly man suddenly got on and stood extremely close to me and just stood there leeringat me. I was very uncomfortable. This endured for what felt like an eternity but he eventually went away. I was upset but not too flustered.
I got off the bus to purchase groceries and while standing outside picking fruit in this middle class neighborhood (Irving Street SF), another elderlyman stepped up behind me so close that I could feel his breath on my neckand began rubbing my back! "Get away from me!! Dont touch me!!" I yelled and quickly stepped away. In what I percieve as an attempt to mock me, he reached out several times in an attempt to touch me again! I quickly began walking away. What followed were racist remarks from him. I was angry after this and felt helpless. I wished that I had pushed him or slapped his hands away but I presume that would be against the law and I could potentially be arrested for such actions. I was quite shaken after this and hated myself for having to move to this city.
My next errand this day was to go down to Civic Center. As I was stepping out of the Muni/Bart station, a man walking towards me grabbed my upper armas I passed him and gave it a firm squeeze. Then he leered at me with a peverted expression! It happened so fast I had no time to react. By the time the event registered and I turned around to even see what had happened he was at least 40 feet away and leering at me. I was on the verge of tears. I felt dirty and violated yet there was nothing I could do about it. I felt so helpless. I refused to cry so I continued on my way.
Less than 5 minutes later I passed another man on the street and he looked me up and down and said "Heeeey" It is difficult to describe but even the way he said it was peverted and believe me when I say I was not overly sensitive at this point and mistaking a friendly hello for harssment. This man looked at me as if he was undressing me with his eyes. At this point, I could take it no more and broke down on the streets of downtown to cry. I felt so awful inside and incredibly overwhelmed by the 4 harassments I had endured.
It is sad that in this day and age, things like this should still happen in modern day society.I read in the paper that many men criticize
hollaback.com as they say it is just a way of communicating and innocent compliments may be seen as harassment, well I disagree. They do not know how it feels to be a victim of this.
Furthermore, there is a clear difference between an innocent compliment and harssment. Once at San Francisco Shopping Mall, a man approached me and said "I hope this does not alarm you but I just would like to tell you that you are beautiful." and then he walked away. He did not invade my personal space, did not attempt to touch me, and did not look at me in a peverted way. It was kind. I do believe there is a difference.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. It feels good that there is a place where I can tell others about this.
Julia from San Francisco, CA